An Ugly American – Tax The Penguins!
Let’s talk about the latest ice-cold controversy causing a flap in the headlines: Tariffs. But not on China, not on steel, not even on French wine. No sir. We’re talking tariffs on an island full of penguins.
Tax Them!
Yes, you read that right. Penguins. No people. No politics. Just tuxedoed birds waddling around in the cold — now subject to economic warfare.
Apparently, somebody in Washington decided these birds were a national security threat… or maybe just bad at trade negotiations. Either way, we’re taxing the place. And let’s be clear — there’s not a single voter on that island. Just a bunch of beaked freelo—I mean, flightless citizens who don’t pay their fair share.
Here’s where it gets slippery:
• The penguins ain’t exporting anything yet…
But if they start shipping out blubber, we’ll slap a tariff on that faster than you can say “fish fry.”
• Snow?
You know they got plenty of it. And if that starts entering the U.S. market undercutting domestic snowmen, you bet your boots we’ll tax it.
But here’s the real issue:
These penguins? They don’t have wallets. They can’t pay the tariffs. So what are we gonna do?
Easy.
We’ll just put it on their bill.
So the next time someone tells you tariffs are a serious economic tool, just remember: somewhere out there, a confused penguin is being charged for standing on an ice cube.
